In this area, lets call it metaphysical spirituality, there seems to me to be an overwhelming increase in people searching for answers and people giving those answers. This is where my quandary lies. There seems to me to be an equal amount of frauds out there making money from scrams as there are honest people who can't seem to make any money at all. I believe in the concept that if you are good, good things come to you; the school of positive thinking and being thankful. But in this current climate of tricksters getting rich I am at a loss some times to understand the reasons. On a intellect bases I can cross into knowing but emotionally I seems to attach my fears and anger to both the fraudsters and the people falling for the con. This also makes those of us who are here for lets term in the 'right intentions' to have to work even harder to prove ourselves, and where ESP. is concerned how do you do that? I spend energy on proving myself, because I choose not wear a costume or perform.
I question myself all the time and ask 'is this it', is this, my place here on earth, being a very small splash. And if it is when do I move into acceptance and into grace? When do the inner voices of my guides stop pushing me to move forward and to share the information that I get given? Is this place of 'wanting and hoping' real? or is it my ego?
The older I get in most cases I believe I am getting wiser, but my inner emotional body seems to become sadder; this path is not the one I thought I would be on. This void I sit in currently does not feel like me. I am reading a series of books currently about being side tracked from your spiritual path by the 'dark side' , a group of energy that does not want us the 'light workers' to succeed, from one aspect of myself I can see that being in sadness is empowering this energy but without getting some sort of feedback and validation that I am making a difference and generating a income, there is a aspect of myself that is giving in.
If this is it , the extent of my growth or power or influence, then I would really like to get to the point where I am ok with that. Where those inner voices work with me to find a place of inner contentment...Is that to much to ask for?
Just a Thought